How to know what women want (a must read for both sexes)

Women are strange, unfathomable beings.  And yes, they are allowed to suddenly change their minds even if you planned stuff for 3 months in advance.  This guide will serve as a “cheat-sheet” for every first-time event of you and your lady’s adventure into the unknown.  Oh and ladies, you’re welcome to comment, in fact, please do.  We men have a tough time sometimes understanding the female psyche.


Ok, let’s get started.

How to react when you see her across a crowded room

Aaah…the “one”.  You can blame it on fairy tales, movies, books or whomever.  Women cherish all the things us guys spend little or no attention on.  Make her fairytale come true, or at least try to introduce yourself first.  Who knows, you might be Prince charming?  Giddy-up boy!

This will require some courage, but you really do need to make the first move.  Why?  Well without offending any guys reading this, we won’t call you cavemen or Neanderthals, but instinct might play a major role here.  Again, I need to choose my words carefully, but woman want to be hunted (please note ladies, I’m not calling you animals or prey or trophies, I simply mean you want to be singled out as something precious, worthy of taking time to learn from, understand etc.)

What she wants: to be approached sincerely, without any lame ass cheesy pick-up lines.  Walking up to her and blurting :”I want you to have my babies”, will result in a slap, most of the time except if you are Kurt Douglas.  Instead, pay her a genuine compliment like: “I saw you from over there and just had to introduce myself.  You have a mesmerizing smile.”  Something that innocent and sincere will melt her heart and make her feel special.  If she’s a bitch and gives you the bat, well at least you know right?


How to go on a first date with her

Ok so she thinks she might be able to work you into her busy schedule.  Don’t mess up.  Even if you are a great guy, the first date will be your “trial-out”.

What she wants: Pull out all the stops.  Be original and impress her.  Don’t make her feel like girlfriend number 87 and just take her to some place lame.  Surprise her.  You might take her to the movies if she agrees, but afterwards organize a private dinner.  A candle lit dinner in case you were wondering.  OH and, just be yourself.  Don’t try to impress her with your recent promotion, or your thick wad of cash.  There’s no point in acting like prince charming while you’re a jerk at heart.  Take it from me, the myth of woman’s sixth sense, is not a myth.  She will realize you’re a fake and never talk to you again.



How to kiss her

Ooooh the butterflies in your tummies.  This is where you express your mutual affection.  Do it properly.

What she wants: NOT a slashing around of your tongue down her throat.  Rather aim for perfection.  You are waiting for the moment when time stands still, and only you and her are on this planet.  Want to know how to destroy the moment instantly?  Easy…Let your hands wander.  Relax; those parts in her nether regions will still be there tomorrow.  Got that “slick”? 😉


How to react when meeting her friends

Congratulations on coming this far!  When she wants you to meet her friends, she is willing to include you into her circle of trust.  This shows you are trustworthy and might be someone to be included in her life more permanently.

What she wants: Her friends will be calling her the next day, either giving you the stamp of approval, or the trash can.  She wants you to be nice, sincere and show an interested in any conversation either she or one of her friends start.  When the conversation drops and awkward silences set in, don’t show that you are uncomfortable.  Start talking about something one of her friends mentioned, maybe one had a sick puppy, or a missing cat.  Note: you need to actually listen to what they are talking about instead of thinking about sport.  Ask about the cat, dog, parrot or whatever.  They will appreciate your interest in their well being a lot.


How to react when introducing her to YOUR friends

Time for the boys to meet your girl.  She will see this as a gesture of commitment.

What she wants: You might be excited to be with your fellas and start rambling about the latest sport results or tell corny jokes you heard from some guy at the bar.  Pay attention to her.  Try to include her in your conversations as much as you can and treat her wit supreme respect.


How to cook a meal for her

The road to a man’s heart is the same a woman’s.  If you try and cook for her, even if you suck, this will show your willingness to impress her.  Don’t burn it on purpose though, you will look incompetent instead of scoring brownie points.

What she wants: For you to do some investigative work and find out what her favorite favorites are.  And cook the meal!  If you don’t posses Jamie Oliver’s culinary skills and are a wreck when it comes to the kitchen, order the meal you wanted to prepare from the best restaurant you can find.  Serve it on your best plates and use your finest cutlery.  Don’t forget a bottle of wine she likes.


How to buy flowers for her

Make her feel like a princess and buy her flowers.

What she wants: To not ask for flowers.  Do this little gesture when it is least expected from you, AND when it is.  This includes after a nice dinner, unexpected phone call, or just during the week to show that she is the object of your thoughts and affection.


How to be honest about her outfit

“Honey, does this jean make me look fat?”  We have all had this one before.  A sneaky trap where you have to say just the right things, even if she looks like Fiona in that dress.  Or should you?

What she wants: In these situations, you have to be very subtle.  With some women you can be very forthcoming and just say,:”honey I like the way it fits, but I think <other clothing garment> might compliment your eyes more”, without her feeling insecure about her weight.  Surprise her by buying her a new jean/dress.  If she happened to gain a few pounds, try another approach.  Tell her you want her to join you at your new gym you just signed-up on.  This will give you more time together AND you will live longer due to exercising.  You will both look and feel great.


How to meet her parents

This is a big one.  She wants you to be part of the family.  Be on your best behavior.  Even if they think their “sweet little innocent girl” is still a virgin, never do anything to shatter that illusion.

What she wants: She thinks you might get along with her folks.  Her choice in partner might be a direct reflection of her upbringing.  Her dad is the one you need to target.  If you get along with him, you will be able to soften up her mom at a later stage.  Do not bring up the time where she embarrassed herself when she got too tipsy, do not bring up the fact that she fondled you on the first date (even if this was the case).  Oh and again, leave the corny jokes for some other time.




How to go on a boy’s weekend

Now you realize that your relationship is secure, but both realize each one need some time spent alone, or with their best mates.

What she wants: Do not make her feel that you would rather spend time with your friends than quality time with her.  If this is the case, then you need to man-up and tell her straight about how you feel towards her.  Tell her this way:” honey, although I cherish every moment you and I spend together, I also know that spending some time away from you will only make me appreciate you more”.  If you use this more than once every few months, she will notice your change and either feel under-appreciated or sense you have lost your love for her. Just be honest.  She knows you want some time with your buds, but try to establish a balance between friends and the woman in your life.


How to have an argument

This is inevitable.  The way you handle it will determine much of your future arguments.

What she wants: My advice, look in the mirror.  You have two ears and only one mouth.  See where I’m going?  Listen more than you speak!  She might drop something that has been bothering her for a long time coming, or make you aware of any insecurities she might have.  Allow her to raise her concerns and genuinely listen to them.  Think before you speak.  Think why she is saying what she’s saying and try to see her perspective as well.  You might be wrong!  Speak softly and be direct.  If she really is wrong and made you feel uncomfortable, tell her honestly.  Even if she interrupts you mid sentence, listen again.  Then ask her if you can be frank also.  Pretty soon you will be cuddling in each other’s arms in front of the fireplace with much more insight into each other’s way of thought.


How to discuss the future

Well if you made it this far and your future life together become the subject of discussion, you might just be meant for each other.

What she wants: She probably wants to discuss family.  Or, the white picket fence, nice car, the mortgage,  and then family.  Either way, she thinks you are her ideal man, or very close to it.  Pay attention to detail.  She might want to have a baby next year and want to share her ideas of paint color for little ‘Nickeys’ room.  Here, you have to be honest.  If you don’t feel ready to father a child just yet, don’t lead her on by the typical “man-saying” of, “we’ll see.”  Tell her straight if you still want to enjoy your life as a young adult without taking on such a commitment.  If you are both honest, this will be the start of your fairy-tale.  Good luck and God bless.  😉

Author: Shaun De Kock

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